So I've got to stop thinking i cant do this blog. Im not cleverly witty like others, i cant write in comedic yet easily flowing prose. This is how I write. Get over it. :D
I have no point to this blog, but its this or reading 'teach your islam', my exams tomorrow, not really the best time to start. Im kind of going by my own view that the MORE you revise the MORE you will realise you dont know, thus the MORE nervous you will become, and the MORE you will fail. My point exactly.
Typical revising songs at the minute.
Michael Buble
Snow Patrol
Coldplay
I am so relaxed! I could just curl up right now on my bed and go to sleep (listening to 'If i aint got you' Alicia keys ... listen along :) ). Although its 2pm, im 18 not 80!
I am staying up far to late (or early). Im not complaining really, I've been having some wonderfull talks with some very special people I have only recently met, which are funnily making me a lot more content as a person. I feel liked. Not 'put up with' for once.
So whats actually going on in my 'real' life?
Not a heck of a lot to be honest! I have no social plans at all for the next two weeks with exams exams exams. Besides i HATE going out into the big cities with my girlfriends. There only aim for the night is to pull a guy and take as many 'im having so much fun!!!' pictures, to parade on facebook. Seriously, it makes me wonder why i ever got into such a self obbsessed narcisistic group of friends. I frequently force myself to go along, convinsing my self it will be different. But no! I get there, leers and stares from men far to old for me. They crowd under the stairs of the two level bars, perveted assholes as young girls stumble drunkenly up and down them. I dont no why some girls like that kind of attention, maybe im just a prude (if thats the right word to use here) or a snob? As far as im concered being a snob is far better than being easy. To me easy = unnattractive. Although i seem to be the only person who seems to think that, or so it feels.
I dont no why i put myself under so much pressure? I think it stems from a comment i recieved as a 'joke' from my sister a few months ago. 'You hardly go clubbing anymore, seriously soph youre just going to end up getting bigger and more alone'.
Well. As for that, im now only 3lbs away from being back in the nine stones (139lbs), when i was 11stone (153 lbs). And im lonely right now. If i could get any more lonely from this please let me know, im intrigued!
Im sorry if this sounds like a depressing blog. Im really not in a bad mood, iv just got so much to do today so im having a bit of a moan. :D
I went shopping last night and had a bit of a splurge in the 'body shop' i think i'll go and run myself a huge bubble bath, and make myself delicous! That always boosts the mood. Then i promise, i will revise :D.
You are SO sweet for reading this. Im surprised i havnt sent you to sleep with me.
Bye for now.
xxx
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It was similar for me whn I was at school- its not so much I hate clubs, I think if you find the right type of club then you're fine its more to do with the type of people who go there. Still don't understand people who go out just to pull, its different if you happen to meet someone and take things slowly but going out just to pull is sad. You don't sound like a snob I agree with you and easier said than done but ignore your sister as well- you've done really well to lose the weight you have :-)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the rest of your exams
~xXx~